Womanizer Toy Review

Initially I was excited to receive this item, I’d heard so many great things about it – I’d read reviews where people had orgasms within seconds. I was thrilled, people whom I know to be power queens hailed the Womanizer.

First impressions

I looked at it for a while, since it looks so strange, I mean it looks like some warped breed between an ear thermometer and a lady shave; and well the colour and patterned scheme is horrendous, I really dislike the look of this thing, and I received one of the nicer looking ones (at the time of writing this). I really don’t understand the thought process that went in to designing this, it’s like they got someone in; and said ‘name three things women like?’ and their reply was ‘Oh, Pink, Animals and  Jewels’ and from that this thing was created. I was assured by others that once I try it; I will no longer care what it looked it.

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The Womanizer!

It just seemed to come from nowhere, this strange looking toy making people squirm with pleasure, I wanted to try it and see what all the fuss was about. I emailed Womanizer and asked them to send me this item to review.

The packaging

I was quite surprised by the packaging, the way this thing is designed I was expecting the packaging to look awful and somewhat tasteless, but it exceeded my expectations. The Womanizer also comes complete with a handy little storage case which is great, however I really wish that ‘Womanizer’ wasn’t wrote on the top of it, it’s not really all that discreet if left out.

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Packaging for the Womanizer

How to charge The womanizer

It comes with a USB charger, and it took about 4hours to fully charge; once charged I ran upstairs in a bid to put this thing through its paces, lubed up and ready to go I turned it on. It makes the strangest chugging noise, reminds me of an old train for some reason.

 

womanizer performance

At first it felt quite nice, it was a strange sensation; I didn’t really notice any form of ‘sucking’ nor did I feel any form of vibrations at all; for some reason it felt like a cold air was being blown on my clit – I’m really not sure how else to describe it – I was more than ready to increase the speed, so pressing the over sized fake jewel made the chugging go a bit faster, and I became more aware of the cold air blowing on me; after laying there for what seemed like hours, but was probably minutes; I was already bored, and the cold air blowing on me seemed to get colder, and more biting. I decided to hurry this along and increased the speed to its highest setting, initially it felt great; there was an O, an Ah and at one point even an OMG, it felt amazing. it however didn’t feel amazing for long, probably a second maybe two and then I felt irritated, annoyed and frustrated. Putting it back on the lowest speed it felt nice again, only to again feel irritating within seconds. I had to constantly increase and decrease the speed to stop it from irritating me. I’ve tried different methods of using it; putting it on my clit, holding it over my clit, keeping it perfectly still, slightly moving it; no matter what I did, the outcome remained the same. The cold sensation that I originally felt at first felt mild, but with prolonged use it just seemed to feel like a biting cold, that actually hurt!

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Close up of the front
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Close up of the side

This is my experience with the Womanizer, this is every experience I’ve had with the Womanizer; It just does not seem to work for me at all, it irritates me! I’ve tried this thing more times than I can count on both hands and every single time I tried it, I didn’t even manage any form of orgasm. I was so frustrated that each and every-time, I’d want to throw the thing at the wall (I didn’t) – I’d pull out my trusted Tango or my Doxy and continue with the session – every time I used the Womanizer prior to using my Doxy or Tango it took me in excess of 30 minutes to achieve a single orgasm – that doesn’t happen to me, never once had it taken me longer than 10 minutes, let alone 30 minutes to come with one of these two toys UNLESS I use the Womanizer first. It’s like it de-sensitized my clit.

I was convinced my clit was broken; it was taking me so long to reach orgasm that I literally fell asleep at one point with the Tango still pressed against my clit! I’d never had to work so hard for an orgasm before.

The Wrap up

I don’t know what it is about the Womanizer, but it does not like me; and it never wants me to achieve an orgasm.  Never before have I dreaded masturbating than I did when I was testing this toy daily – Lots of people have had huge success with this, you can see some of their reviews; tragically though I am not one of these people, and this thing is being banished – I don’t care where it goes but I don’t want to look at it again.

This item was sent to me in exchange for an honest review from Womanizer.

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