Where I get lost… and found

I always think of Sean when I masturbate.  It used to be Z, but somewhere that changed.  Maybe because it was for months and months I would leave him voicemails so he could hear me cumming, and the idea of that got me so hot that it’s just sort of fixated into my brain.  Saying his name is so fucking sexy it pours from my lips like water.

Lately there has been too much thought and not enough fucking.  I get lost in my head and I think too much.  I get off center.  I lose my way.  Lost, I lean in to whatever is standing.  I search where answers cannot be found and I find myself someplace that I never intended to be.

Today, after a few days of uncertainly and indecision, I finally laid on my bed and didn’t think.  Somewhat sleepy, I turned off my brain and let go.  Let go of thoughts of Giacomo and the weird confusion I am facing lately.  Turned off the moments between me and The Ex and how things between us are making me rethink everything I thought I wanted.  Quieted my mind from thoughts of deadlines, and travel and parenthood.  I stopped to reconnect with my body.

My new vibe, as perfect as I knew it would be, humming gently in my hands.  The smooth silicon gently sliding over my tongue, and then touching the end of it between my legs.  Allowing the vibrations to slowly easy my lips open and slide between my flesh.  It had been a long time.  Weeks.  I thought momentarily about Giacomo.  His tongue gliding expertly between my legs- teasing and tasting me… slowly, quicky.  Again and then again.

But my mind wandered again to Sean.  It always does.  His voice in my ear, trickling down my spine.

“I’ve been thinking about fucking that sweet pussy baby.  Be a good girl for daddy.”

I spread my legs for him.  Aching, burning, sliding.  Searching for that sweet spot, and then teasing it.  Touching down hard and then moving it away.  Edging closer each time.  The strong motor delivering a smooth vibration pulsing deep through my clit.  I was tempted to push it inside me.  Fill me with the humming cock, the curved ridges, the deliberate g-spot angle.  But I didn’t.  I wanted the tease… the burn.

“You better fucking cum for me, you little bitch.”

Yes, yes I will.  I kept my legs open, my knees spread.  The vibe pressed, painfully on my clit even though I wanted to move it away.  The burn was too much- too hard- too sensitive.

Now, slut.  Cum fucking now for me.  Do it baby. I love how filthy you are for me.  Show me how bad you want it.

It burned and melted through me.  I thust and grind into it.  Fucking it hard.  My head throwing and my back arching.  The molten fuck, spreading over my skin.  Decadent.  So sweet I could taste it on my lips.  It was familiar and welcome.  While I texted Sean to thank him, as I always do, my mind moved back to center and my body, my skin began to breathe again.

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