Where I get lost… and found

Where I get lost… and found

When I masturbate, I always believe of Sean.  It used to be Z, but it changed somewhere.  Perhaps because I was going to leave him voicemails for months and months so he could hear me cumming, and that concept made me so excited that it’s just kind of fixed in my brain.  Saying his name is so sexy that it pours like water out of my lips.

There’s been too much thinking and not enough fucking lately.  I get lost in my head, too much I believe.  I’m getting out of the middle.  I’m losing my path.  Lost, I’m leaning on anything that stands.  I’m looking for answers that can’t be found and I’m somewhere I never planned to be.

Today, I finally lay on my bed after a few days of uncertainty and indecision and didn’t believe.  I switched off my brain a little sleepy and let go.  Let go of Giacomo’s ideas and the strange confusion I’ve been experiencing recently.  The moments between me and The Ex turned off and how things between us make me rethink all I believed I wanted.  Calming my mind from deadline ideas, and traveling and parenting.  I stopped getting back in touch with my body.

My fresh vibrator, as ideal as I knew it would be, softly humming in my hands.  The soft silicon slides softly across my tongue, then touches the end between my legs.  Allowing the vibrations to open and slide my lips between my flesh gently.  It was a long time ago.  Weeks.  I was thinking of Giacomo for a moment.  His tongue gliding between my legs and tasting me… slowly, fast.  And again and again.

But my mind was wandering to Sean again.  It’s always.  His voice trickled down my spine in my ear.

“I’ve been thinking about fucking that sweet pussy baby.  Be a good girl for daddy.”

I spread my legs for him. Aching, sliding, burning.  Searching for and teasing that sweet spot.  Hard to touch and then move it away.  Edging each time nearer.  The powerful engine provides a soft vibration that pulses deep through my clit.  I was tempted to push it inside of me. Fill me with the cock, the curved ridges, the intentional angle of the g-spot.  But I haven’t.  I wished the burning tease.

“You better fucking cum for me, you little bitch.”

Yes, I’m going to.  I held my legs open, spreading my knees.  The feeling was pressing on my clit painfully, even if I wanted to push it away.  The burning was too delicate, too difficult.

Now, slut.  Cum fucking now for me.  Do it baby. I love how filthy you are for me.  Show me how bad you want it.

Through me it was burning and melting. I thust and grind into it.  Fucking it tough.  The throw of my head and the arching of my back.  The fucking molten, spreading across my skin.  Decadent.  I could taste it so sweetly on my lips.  It was well-known and welcomed.  While I was writing Sean to thank him, my mind moved back to the middle and my body as I always do, my skin started breathing again.