Big toys for bad girls

“Give it here,” he said.  I had told the New Boy about my new dildo and sent him a picture. His response had been, “I think my ass just closed forever.”  When I told him that it was for ME, not him… he couldn’t wait to try it out.

I told him I needed to be worked up to it… you can’t just shove something like that inside a girl in the first few minutes, right??  He was glad to oblige.  He knelt between my legs and licked at my pussy for a long time.  He kept saying, “oh you’ll be ready… ”

I didn’t want him to stop.  The last few guys I’ve been with have spoiled me and now I want to make sure that before the night is through, I get some head for me too.  If I find a guy who does it well, then I want it, a lot of it, and often.  So I let him continue even though I wanted to break what I consider to be an important rule of sex toy reviewing.

Rule #1. You gotta USE the sex toy.

I whined a little when he reached for the Dai Do 3 and moved his delicious mouth away from me.  He sat between my legs, as he slid it out of the black satin bag and lubed it up with some silicone lubricant.

Rule #2.  Lube makes almost anything fit.

(and by the way, metal and silicone lube go together like… well, cock and pussy.)

He ran the dildo along my pussy,  it was cold- but I knew this wouldn’t last long.  I am not usually one for temperature play, I do enjoy the way that this vibe will adjust to my body temperature pretty quickly.  He pushed it against my hole… I took a deep breath, and on exhale, he pushed it inside me.  Slowly.  Thank God for lube, because I felt it going in.  It slid it smooth, stretching me, but in a gentle way.  I was ready for it.  He pushed it inside me, until it reached the first groove.

“Wow- you’re pussy is just swallowing this,” he said, his eyes opened wide.

WHAT? I laughed, “Are you saying that my pussy is just a big gaping hole??”

Rule #3 Being big is only complimentary if you are a guy.  (This isn’t really a RULE as much as it’s just good to remember)

He laughed, telling me no- that it’s tight, but that I was taking it good.  Such a good girl.  It filled me to the next ridge, and the last one, until it just wasn’t going any farther.  Just shy of two inches in diameter, 8 inches long, the solid phallus felt even bigger.  The weight pressing against the walls of my pussy, it was lovely.  I directed him, to lower the base so the large hard shaft was pressing against my g-spot.  He grabbed a vibe and rubbed it against my clit.  My hips started to shake and my voice quivered.  He started pushing it, faster, deeper in to me, shallow.  I was ready to cum, ready to grip even harder around this hard dildo and claim a love like no other…

Then it happened.  He started thrusting- pulling it out, then sliding it back in.  Out and in.. out and… fuck… stop.  Stop. STOP!!!

The ridges… My pelvic bone.


Perhaps it’s the way my pussy is built.  The ridges were tapping, rubbing, against my pelvic bone.  It was not painful, but uncomfortable.

Rule #4, Big is good but not always better.


Once that happened, I was just too nervous to let him continue, even if he stopped thrusting.  Damn… I was so fucking close.


By the way, alone- I did use it again, with a nice vibrator.  In my own hands, I was able to find the right placement.  No thrusting in and out- although knowing exactly how to move it, it was a lot less of the rubbing.  I don’t think this issue would be the same on everyone.  I have a particularly small pelvis (why thank you doctor!).  It’s genetic.  With the vibration, and being so filled.  It did deliver me a fantastic orgasm in which my body gripped down so hard on this massive dildo that it practically slid out of me.  (Ok, maybe “slide” is a loose term)

Eden Fantasys carries the whole line of Dai Do toys, including a smaller version of this dildo, the Dai Do 4.  Which is not as thick and the ridges are not so deep.  Perhaps I should try this one.  I think it might have been perfect.

But if you do want a big dildo, why not try black?

Happy Endings are cool- massage oil review

I don’t give or get a lot of massages. Natt gave me a foot massage in NYC, but that may have been the last one I’ve gotten. There’s two reasons for this. 1) I am insanely ticklish and 2) I don’t get a lot of offers.

That being said, I don’t mind giving them. I like touching people. I have realized that I don’t get touched very often. My husband and I don’t get close very often. I don’t have friends that I hug a lot. I’m not a cuddler. So when I have the opportunity to put my hands on someone in a way that isn’t even sexual, but just human contact- I enjoy it.

My husband has pretty bad peripheral vascular disease so he really benefits from a massage, but sometimes it’s painful so it’s not often that I can do it. The other night, he asked me if I wouldn’t mind maybe rubbing his legs and hands. I figured this was as good a time as any to tryout my new massage oil.

It’s a mild scented oil.  It’s pretty thin too.  I put some on my hands and slowly worked it into his skin.  It was not an overwhelming scent, which was good.  I just can’t deal with overwhelming scents.  I massaged his legs for a long time, it didn’t dry too quickly, which is saying a lot considering my husband has pretty dry skin.

I rubbed his legs only having to add oil once.  It made his skin really soft and once the oil was dried, it left his skin smooth enough to keep rubbing with out adding oil.  I think we both enjoyed it.  The touching, the sensation.

And while I am skeptical about the pheremones, the leg massage DID end with a happy ending, for ME!  yeah!!!

I like it curved…

I know they are not popular, but I admit that I really LIKE jelly toys and I have a good collection of vibrators from Don Johnson. I like the way they move and bend.  The fact that the Paradise Curve is phthalate free jelly like material and silicone makes it even better. It still has that ‘nail salon’ smell to it- so if you are scent sensitive I would stay away from the jelly type toys, phthalate-free or not. They all just smell that way. I have heard that it’s the phthalates that make is smell that way- but I have jelly toys with or without them and you can’t tell a difference by the smell.

Noses aside, I did enjoy this toy. I prefer the curved toys to the sharp angles that some g-spot toys offer. The nubs on the curve are not really necessary as the vibration does enough. I love the bullet in the END of Doc Johnsons toys, as opposed to some manufacturers who put them in the base. What’s the point of THAT?  The bullet vibe on the end was great against my gspot and coupled with a bullet vibe, it’s narrow enough for smooth thrusting, but still thick enough to be satisfying.


The controller is a simple up and down controller with 4 speeds, but I would like to see an end to the wired controllers. Over all, this is a good toy. The vibration was good for clitoral (that is where the nubs are nice) or gspot penetration for those who enjoy jelly-type toys.

It comes in aqua and pink.  Mine’s pink.  Check out this and the whole collection of great toys from VibeReview.


The Mia- better than a coffee break!!

One of the things I love in life is lipstick. Not because I wear a lot of makeup, because I don’t. But I do own a lot of lipstick. Lipstick changes things for me. It lights up my whole face when I wear it. Lipstick has saved me many days when I didn’t want people to know that something was wrong. My mother always told me, “Just put your lipstick on and nobody will know you’re sad.”

You’d be surprised how well that works.

So when I saw The Mia- I made me smile. A big pink lipstick case holds so much promise for good days. This one, of course, vibrates. It also combines another thing I love, my computer. It charges via USB drive.

Yes, you heard me. Geek girls, hold on to your panties. This vibrator has a removable cap exposing a USB connection and you can plug it right into your USP port. It LOOKS like a jump drive. It makes my nipples hard just thinking about it.  It’s a hard plastic, which I don’t use much of anymore, but it’s phthalate free and non porous.  Did you know that Eden Fantasies has a page on materials and it give details and such on all of them.  Very cool.

Just because I COULD, I boldly plugged it in to the USB port on my monitor at work. Nobody questioned it, and I sat, getting wet, knowing that I was looking at the next thing that was going to give me an orgasm.

I closed my office door towards the end of the day, hiked up my skirt and pulled my panties to the side. I turned it on high (10 pushes of the + button to get to the highest setting), then there were 3 more settings of different speeds of pulsing. I played with the fast pulse speed to get me warmed up and then went back to the continuous vibration. Always my favorite.

I THINK that this might be a little stronger than the Lily. Perhaps because it’s stronger and more compacted. I stroked and rubbed it over my clit, up and down my pussy, feeling the smooth, strong vibrations. It’s not harsh. It’s not overpowering, but it is strong enough to have me writhing and aching. I put one leg on my desk and pushed two fingers into my wet pussy- going over my usual jerk off fantasy of Sean, fucking myself and working the vibe on my sweet spot, aching and burning until my body shook and I whispered his name again and again until a warm electric orgasm came over me. Mmmmm. I wiped it off and slipped it into my pocket and slipped my shoes back on.

Standing, I opened my office door, smiled at the chaos and walked past it on the way to the ladies room.

Thanks to Eden Fantasys. The Mia is exactly the kind of break I need in my day!

Where I get lost… and found

I always think of Sean when I masturbate.  It used to be Z, but somewhere that changed.  Maybe because it was for months and months I would leave him voicemails so he could hear me cumming, and the idea of that got me so hot that it’s just sort of fixated into my brain.  Saying his name is so fucking sexy it pours from my lips like water.

Lately there has been too much thought and not enough fucking.  I get lost in my head and I think too much.  I get off center.  I lose my way.  Lost, I lean in to whatever is standing.  I search where answers cannot be found and I find myself someplace that I never intended to be.

Today, after a few days of uncertainly and indecision, I finally laid on my bed and didn’t think.  Somewhat sleepy, I turned off my brain and let go.  Let go of thoughts of Giacomo and the weird confusion I am facing lately.  Turned off the moments between me and The Ex and how things between us are making me rethink everything I thought I wanted.  Quieted my mind from thoughts of deadlines, and travel and parenthood.  I stopped to reconnect with my body.

My new vibe, as perfect as I knew it would be, humming gently in my hands.  The smooth silicon gently sliding over my tongue, and then touching the end of it between my legs.  Allowing the vibrations to slowly easy my lips open and slide between my flesh.  It had been a long time.  Weeks.  I thought momentarily about Giacomo.  His tongue gliding expertly between my legs- teasing and tasting me… slowly, quicky.  Again and then again.

But my mind wandered again to Sean.  It always does.  His voice in my ear, trickling down my spine.

“I’ve been thinking about fucking that sweet pussy baby.  Be a good girl for daddy.”

I spread my legs for him.  Aching, burning, sliding.  Searching for that sweet spot, and then teasing it.  Touching down hard and then moving it away.  Edging closer each time.  The strong motor delivering a smooth vibration pulsing deep through my clit.  I was tempted to push it inside me.  Fill me with the humming cock, the curved ridges, the deliberate g-spot angle.  But I didn’t.  I wanted the tease… the burn.

“You better fucking cum for me, you little bitch.”

Yes, yes I will.  I kept my legs open, my knees spread.  The vibe pressed, painfully on my clit even though I wanted to move it away.  The burn was too much- too hard- too sensitive.

Now, slut.  Cum fucking now for me.  Do it baby. I love how filthy you are for me.  Show me how bad you want it.

It burned and melted through me.  I thust and grind into it.  Fucking it hard.  My head throwing and my back arching.  The molten fuck, spreading over my skin.  Decadent.  So sweet I could taste it on my lips.  It was familiar and welcome.  While I texted Sean to thank him, as I always do, my mind moved back to center and my body, my skin began to breathe again.

Missed connections- BBG and the G-Rock

Sounds like a bad rap song.

I don’t like reviewing toys that don’t hit their mark. I verified with my gal at Vibe Review that she still wanted me to do a review even if I didn’t like the toy and she said yes.

That is the wrong way to start, it’s not that I don’t LIKE the G-rock. Really, I love it. Let me be clear in telling you that there is nothing wrong with this toy. The make of it is great, it’s comfortable and the vibrations are fantastic. I had high hopes for this toy. Really. The problem with it is me.

It’s not you, it’s me.

The G-rock is a wonderfully designed toy with all the right features in mind. It’s made of a really good phthlate free silicon. It doesn’t have any weird feel or scent like many toys do. The vibrations are nice on my g-spot. but this woman does not cum by g-spot alone. It missed my clit by about an inch. I tried reinserting it a few times. Perhaps my gspot is lower than others, perhaps my pussy is just small and compact. I have a tilted cervix, maybe it just just pushed it out of place. I don’t know. I was really disappointed because the vibrations are nice. Not too strong up front, which might have been a bummer, but I wouldn’t know. The hands free idea is nice. I was looking forward to it, but all it did, was make me soaked. Vibrations on my gspot do that. When I tried to sort of bend the front part down to reach my clit, the bottom part pulls out. It just doesn’t fit me. Damn.

Regardless, this does seem like a really well made toy. It has all the right ideas. Good design and feel. It has the best intentions. sigh… Maybe next time I will try the Snugglepuss or just stick with the Rabbit.

I love nipple clamps

Have I mentioned that really love nipple play?  Well I do.  From the first time I had clamps on me, I fell captive to that amazing intense pain that comes with being connected that way.


I have recently gotten a pair of clamps, just like the ones in this picture.  Clover clamps.  I never actually handled the ones that were on me in this picture- and I’ve had them on me twice.  The ones I have are the same kind.  A heavy chain and rubber grips.  Unlike other nipple clamps, these don’t have a screw to loosen them for your comfort.  The ones I have, when you open them, they catch, the moving parts.  It doesn’t make it impossible to use- it’s just notable.  The key to having fun with nipple clamps is in the movement.  When clamps are on your nipples, and unmoved, it stops hurting so much.  It goes numb.  What’s the fun in that?

Be prepared for the REMOVAL of the clamps, by the way.  Yeah, when the blood goes rushing back to that area- that’s a pain that is part delicious, part HOLY FUCK.  So be prepared for that.

A word of caution.  You probably should not wear nipple clamps for too long.  Maybe 15-20 minutes?  Any area that is deprived circulation is at risk for nerve damage and maybe even tissue death.  Keep that in mind.  I’m not a doctor or a Sex Toy Expert (well at least not certified) but it’s common sense right?

Play safe.

Not just any night

He looked at the box again.  Fucking Flame Harness Kit.  He sighed outloud, throwing it back into the bag, looking towards the vanity and his wife brushing her soft brown hair.  It had been two years since they had sex, even though he would occasionally treat her to the oral sex that she so enjoyed.  He craved to be close to her again, but his inability to maintain an erection left him feeling bitter and distant from her.

Watching his beloved porn even become depressing, but he sometimes still found his way to the Internet sites to watch, even though the stirring in his groin never did much more than that.  Pills only caused his blood pressure to rise, and while he was not ready to give up on the idea that he’d ever get an erection again- he certainly was not feeling very positive about it most of the time.

When he saw the two brunettes fucking, one of them with a strap on- the idea came to him.  Perhaps if he had something like this, he could still penetrate her, lay on top of her, move with her.

Be close to her.

It looked harmless enough.  It was not much bigger than his own cock, except for the head was a bit wider than his.  It had a curve to it.  It wasn’t going to make him feel like she’d never want him again.  It wouldn’t make him feel like less of a man.

However… he was staring at it now, and not so sure.  The purple harness that was probably meant to for a girl to wear, except he thought it would protect him from getting squashed.  He was feeling pretty sorry for himself right about now, but he already told her he had a surprise for her.

He thought to grab a big black dildo, or some soy candles.  Maybe even a wooden spoon from the kitchen, but he was watching her- brushing her hair.  She was so beautiful.  He came up behind her in the mirror, his hands laced around her waist and he buried his head into her hair.  She smelled of lemon and lavender.  She sighed, exposing her neck to him- wondering what the evening might bring.

He nuzzled into her flesh, reaching under her thin top and grabbing her breasts, rolling her nipples between his fingers.  She leaned into him, her body warming, molding.  Her pussy aching and and wishing that which she had long learned to stop asking for.  “Lets go to bed,” he whispered into her ear, “I’m going to go to the bathroom.”

She pretended to be asleep, because that’s what she did.  Don’t look disappointed.  No expectations.  No disappointments.  She felt him climb into bed next to her and touched her cheek.  She sighed and opened her eyes as if had interupted her attempts to drift off.  He ran his hands over her body.  Over her curvy flesh and between her legs.  She moaned and sighed with him.  Allowing him to caress and adore her body.  Pangs of guilt washing over her, but she went with it anyway, because it felt good- and she needed his attention.

He held his body away from her, moving between her legs and tasting her.  Licking her slowly, so not to make her orgasm but to warm her up and make her want him.  He needed the right moment, he didn’t want to shock her- or repulse her.  He wanted to make love to his wife.  For the first time in years.

The folds of her pussy swollen and ripe, he moved up over her body.  He was positioned between her legs and she looked up at him.  She pulled him down to kiss him, thinking to simply hold him in her arms as he probably changed his mind part way through.  Depressed hits at strange time, and she had learned not to question it.

She felt him reaching between her legs again- and then felt him.  Him?  No, not him, but something.  Definitely something.  He kissed her, not allowing her to speak as as it slid inside her.  Hard, thick.  She kissed him hard.  Feeling it slide inside her, curving with her body and a think head pressing inside her.  He laid on her, his body on top of hers, as she wrapped her legs around him.  Taking him in.  She closed her eyes and allowed him to slowly thrust inside her.  It had been so long.  So long since she felt him so close, so long since she felt his hips against hers, moving and pressing against her pelvis.  His eyes were closed and he staying laying on her body, his head over her shoulder, not looking at her.  He was conflicted in his emotions.  Feeling somewhat emasculated, but still loving the feeling of her body beneath him.  Her moans and the quiver in her breath.  His body easily thrust and he tried to use the harness as an extension of his own body.  Without any feeling, he continued to use her body for hints, feel her move towards or away from him to know if it was working for her.  He thrust inside her, feeling her legs wrapped around him, but not too eager, probably to spare his feelings.

Her body started to tremble beneath his, and he felt his cock, buried beneath the soft padding, stirring with futility.  He wanted to cry, partially because he felt he had disappointed her by being unable to love her in the way he wanted to always be able to.  He also wanted to cry, because being this close to her made him feel more alive than he had in a long long time.

He felt her moaning and recognized the tremble in her hips.  He continued, thrusting into her slowly- carefully.  Not looking at her but loving her as best as he could in this moment.  Holding her body beneath his and letting her hold on to him so tightly, the way she used to…

She cried out, her orgasm shaking and breathless.  She was gasping…

and sobbing.

He finally looked at her.  Her eyes were filled with tears- they streamed down her face.  He wiped her tears away.

“God, I love you so much baby,” he whispered to her.

Not a box of bees

I heard that Cleopatra made the first vibrator by placing bees in a small box and then shaking it up to make them buzz.  Smart lady.  Box of Bees.  Maybe I will rename my blog to THAT.

I got my first delivery from this week.  It was hard to choose just a few items to try because the selection of sex toys is pretty insane.  I always try to mix it up a little bit and get different types of items.  I started with Cleopatra’s Secret Cream- in Very Berry I don’t use a lot of lubes and lotions. I don’t know- I tend to forget them.  RocketBalm has always been a favorite of mine and I don’t usually stray from something I know is good.  I thought I’d try this though and mix up my jerking off a bit.

The first thing I noticed when I opened this is that it really IS a cream.  It’s not a balm, but it’s thicker than a lotion.  Also, it’s blue.  BLUE.  Do I WANT to slather blue cream on my pussy?? So ok, when applied it sort of smooths and disappears, but still that’s kinda weird right??  I mean- it’s fucking BLUE.  It comes in a 1 ounce bottle, I think it will last me FOREVER.  (It also comes in Raspberry and Peaches n Cream, probably in less opaque colors)

So after applying it, I immediately had to pee.  I’m not sure there was a connection, but it happened.  So when I did- I noticed an immediate WARM feeling where I had applied the cream.  No, freak, not warm because it was pee.  I wonder if, when used for oral sex, it creates the same really WARM sensation.  So done with that, I put on a little more cream and waited a few minutes.

The cool tinglies started pretty quickly.  It was less tingly than RocketBalm, but more than just a cold feeling.  It was nice and constant.  RocketBalm tends to fluctuate in strength if you move.  This just WAS.  I reached for my Hitachi, wondering if anything will ever compare to such a magnificent toy and let it go to work.

The Cleopatra Cream does add a lot of sensitivity to the area.  Not just my clit, but the labia around.  Cool, tingly and it did seem to get warmer as I got wetter.  While the cool and warm sensation are not meant to be any kind of delay cream, it certainly DOES distract my nerve endings from getting me there too quickly.  Once I did, it was tingly and warm and felt really really nice.  It also made it seem to last longer- that’s one of the good things about vaginal creams.  Sometimes when jerking off, especially with the Hitachi, the orgasms come AND go pretty quickly.  This made it linger- made the nerves continue to oooh and ahhh once the buzzing was gone.

When the orgasm was gone though- so was the tingling.  I guess after the orgasm is over, you don’t really NEED it to tingle anymore.

But still, it’d be cool.

I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d cum (and clean)

Here’s why I should read ALL of the description and not just look at the picture.  My eyes are easily drawn to things that buzz and I often don’t take the time to see how big it is.

I’m not a size queen when it comes to cock-but I AM kind of a battery snob when it comes to vibes.  Watch batteries belong in watches.  ok… well sometimes the microvibes are ok when accompanying a really big black dildo, I’ll give you that.


I was expecting the Vibra-Ball to be size of a raquetball.  Maybe a softball.  NOT the size of a superball.  Ok, my bad.  I did NOT look at the dimensions.  It comes with 2 sets of batteries (three each) which is nice.  The silicone sleeve is pretty easy to peel on and off the ball to change the batteries, but the sleeve does make it kind of hard to turn it on and off.  I think the on and off switches should be closer together.

But ok, once you get it ON.  It’s not bad.  The little nubbies feel good and there is a nice long retrieval string so effectively I could insert it into my pussy for some added ‘zing’ when I’m playing with my Hitachi.

It’s not very loud and it’s waterproof and I think if you like “buzzy” toys- or if you are using this in addition to a really big dildo, it’s made well enough and is waterproof!

So what else did I do with it??

*wrapped it in a washcloth for a nice scrubby bath
*swung it around and used it to hit my legs and my arms and my tits a few times… might be fun for a little play
*set it on the floor and rolled my feet over it.  Awwww Yeah, this seems like the best use for it for me.

But you know, that’s just me.